Ye Old College Inn

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (Or closer to home) (AP) – New Orleanian Cartwright Eustis IV told people to prepare for six more weeks of his bullshit on Thursday, making him the minority opinion among his brethren who seem to think that his bullshit is never going to end.

Cartwright’s “prediction” came as he emerged from his lair on Freret Street to “see” his shadow on Gobbler’s Knob, a tiny thing located below his waistline. Cartwright subsequently discovered that it was not a shadow but a moist spot due to his periodic incontinence.

Groundhogs in at least four other states _ West Virginia’s French Creek Freddie, Georgia’s Gen. Beauregard Lee, Ohio’s Buckeye Chuck and New York’s Staten Island Chuck (full name: Charles G. Hogg) _ did not see their shadows, leading most to believe that is was in fact moisture on Cartwright’s pants and not a shadow – and that his bullshit has no end.

Cartwright’s birthday celebration aka Groundhog’s Day is rooted in a German superstition that says if a hibernating animal sees a shadow behind him on Feb. 2, then you better get back in your hole little fella cuz Carty is looking to get him some varmint on his birthday – rabies be dammed. If no shadow is seen, legend says, Cartwright had a rough one the night before and spared the poor little animal for another day. . .